Sitting and relaxing. Ears start ringing……what is this?
Reality begins to fade. There is a feeling of desperation. Am I dying? Heart starts racing; a cold sweat breaks out. Intense fear overtakes. Body begins to tremble. Am I going to pass out? What am I going to do? More fear. Heart pounding in chest. Breathe. Remember to breathe. Deep breath in…..deep breath out. Relax. Pulse slowing down. Breathe..Heart not pounding. Breathe…Reality sets back in. Breathe….sweating ceases. Breathe….trembling disappears. You are safe. You are ok. Calmness reappears.
Some of you know exactly what I am describing above. Like me, you are too familiar with the symptoms. For those of you who are not familiar with the above description, I am describing what someone who has a panic attack experiences in the midst of an attack. They are real and they are terrifying.
After a series of intense stressful circumstances that my family has endured over the last three months, I have become all too familiar with the panic attack. Am I a weak person? I guess that’s up for debate. But I don’t believe I am. I have taken all of the stress and trauma over the last couple of months and internalized it instead of letting it go. The stress began to build up within me until my body couldn’t handle it anymore and then released it as a panic attack.
Many of you may be asking, “why didn’t you just give it to God?” Well, I did. But sometimes you are in such a broken state that your mind and body don’t really cooperate with each other. Sometimes the battle is so intense that it affects your physical body. I cried out to God every morning and every night asking for His intervention. I begged Him to remove my fears. I tried to believe for a miracle. I waited on God to bring deliverance. It was during the waiting that the battle was the greatest for me. I wasn’t even sure if God heard me when I was calling out to Him. It was so hard to find Him.
One night, as I was praying, God led me to Psalm 34:4 which says: “I sought the Lord, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.” I realized at this moment that God did hear my prayer and He hasn’t forgotten about me. He saw the torment I was going through and He cared about what I was going through. If you deal with fear and panic attacks, I strongly encourage you to read all of Psalm 34. It will bring comfort to your soul.
I began to see when I thought I couldn’t go on any longer, that’s when God showed up powerfully. When I thought God was being silent, that was when God was up to something good! When I couldn’t hold on any longer, I realized that breakthrough was just around the corner! I want to encourage you today to hold on because I believe strongly that your breakthrough is just around the corner also!! Be encouraged and believe with me!!