Your Dream Is Not Dead!

When I became pregnant with my second child, my husband and I were very excited because we were told that I would never be able to conceive again.  I had endometriosis which caused me to lose one ovary and caused a growth and scarring on the only ovary that I had left.  It took eight long years before I would become pregnant again and it was a complete miracle.

An ultrasound was performed immediately and everything looked perfect.  A couple of months later, I began to have pain.  I went to the doctors where another ultrasound was performed only to find out that there was no heartbeat detected.  The baby had no signs of life.  The doctor was a Christian and he told us to go home, wait one week and pray and then come back to the office where he would perform another ultrasound.  

I can not begin to describe the different emotions that ran through my head.  Hurt, anger, hopelessness, fear.  I often would ask God why He was doing this?  Why did He wait eight long years to give me another child only to take my baby away?  Why were other people who seemed unfit to parent having babies, but not me?  My emotions became a whirlwind and if I wasn’t careful, they were going to affect my relationship with the Lord.  As I lay on the floor crying, I heard God ask me this question:  “If I take your baby, would you still love me?”  I felt as if I was just punched in the gut.  I knew at that very moment I had to surrender my will and my dreams to God.  

A week passed and I went back to the doctors office.  Upon receiving another ultrasound, the heartbeat was beating loud and strong and the baby was alive and well.  When I look back on this miracle I am reminded of the verse in Luke 8:52:

“Do not weep; she is not dead, but sleeping.”

This is from the story about Jairus going to Jesus to tell Him that his daughter was sick.  By the time they got back to the house, Jairus’ daughter was dead.  Jesus cleared the room and spoke life back into the daughter.  

How many of you have felt like your dreams have died?  I know I have.  But I believe that God is telling us today that the dreams are not dead, they are only sleeping.  Don’t give up hope.

Joseph is a good biblical example of a dream that seemed to be dead.  If you remember, Joseph had a dream about his brothers bowing down to him.  Genesis 37:6 says

So he said to them, “Please hear this dream which I have dreamed:  There we were, binding sheaves in the field.  Then behold, my sheaf arose and also stood upright; and indeed your sheaves stood all around and bowed down to my sheaf.”

We know from the story that Joseph’s brothers became vey jealous and sold him into slavery.  It took many years before Joseph’s dream would manifest.  He was a slave, imprisioned, and  falsely accused.  In the natural realm things couldn’t have looked any worse for Joseph.  But in the spiritual realm, things were going exactly as planned.  Joseph had to come to a point of complete brokenness and surrender to God.  God knew what He had in store for Joseph.  And Joseph needed to be ready for it.

Like Joseph, I had to surrender my dream of having a child to God.  I had to come to a point of complete brokenness.  As I died to myself, Christ was raised up.  I believe many times God will test us in this area to see what means more to us.  Are we more concerned about making our dreams come true, or are we surrendering them back to God?  Sometimes our dreams have to die so that God can resurrect them and receive the glory.  If your dream is God-given, it will come to pass.  

2 Timothy 1:6 says:

“Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you.”

I believe it is time for us to begin stirring up our dreams again.  Begin to pray and ask God if your dream was from Him and if it is, ask Him to show you what your next steps should be.  Delay is not denial.  Joseph had to wait years before the manifestation of his dream came to pass.  He could have given up and said to himself that it just wasn’t worth it.  But he kept pressing on becasue he knew in his heart that God had given him a dream.  

Don’t give up on yourself.  Your dream is not dead; it is only sleeping.

Stand Still!

“Do not be afraid.  Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today.  For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever.  The Lord will fight for you and you shall hold your peace.”  Exodus 14:13.

We see leading up to this verse that Pharaoh had just let the people of Israel go and they were leaving Egypt heading for the Promised Land.  But instead of going through the land of the Philistines; which would have been faster, God led them through the edge of the wilderness.  The Philistines were at war and God didn’t want the people to change their minds and head back to Egypt when they saw all of the turmoil. So He took them by the way of the wilderness.

I have to stop and ponder on the fact that God didn’t allow the Israelites to take the closer, quicker way out of Egypt.  There have been so many times in my life when I have prayed for a quick deliverance only to realize that it was going to take awhile to receive the answer to my prayer. Although delay is not denial, I begin to grow weak in my battle. I question why I can’t just be completely delivered from my problems. God instead led the Israelites through the wilderness. Did He do this because the Israelites needed to learn to fully rely on Him? Or maybe it was because all they did was doubt God’s provision and He wanted to reveal Himself in a powerful way.

As Pharaoh’s heart grew harder, and the Egyptians began to surround the Israelites, fear began to rise and they began to cry out to God.
God’s reply to them was to fear not and to stand firm.  He was going to fight the battle for them.  How many times in our lives do we forget the fact that God wants to fight our battles for us?  Why do we try to fight our battles in our own strength?  We pray, rebuke, quote scriptures, and fast all the while not asking God what He wants us to do to win our battles.  After being brought down to our knees from the weariness we caused ourselves, we realize that our own efforts are not working.  

Many times, God will bring us to our knees so He can raise us up.  It is at this moment that we hear the loving voice of our Father telling us “Don’t be afraid.  Stand still and let me fight this battle for you.”  You see, God never intended for us to fight our own battles. But many times we forget this and we try to fight the battle ourselves.  We allow our pride to set in and we miss the very miracle that God wants to do for us.  I have to wonder how many miracles I have missed in my life because I didn’t allow God to take care of my battle. I took things in my own hands and grew faint in fighting my battles and I gave up instead of just standing still.  

 I believe that God will sometimes make things so uncomfortable for us that we have nowhere else to go but on our knees.  When we have completely emptied ourselves of us, we realize how much we need God and then He can move on our behalf.  We are no longer in the way.  When you feel like the battle is raging the most, surrender.  Not to the enemy, but to the God who can overcome the enemy.  Then just stand and watch what God will do for you!

The Israelites stood and saw the deliverance of God.  Exodus 14:21 says:  

“Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the Lord caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that  night, and made the waters divide.”

God had a way out of the battle that the Israelites were going through.  They only needed to stand and trust God to protect and deliver them.  To man, things looked impossible, but God always has a way of deliverance for you.  In fact, verse 25 says:

“Let us flee from the face of Israel, for the Lord fights for them against the Egyptians.”

Your enemy knows the power of your God.  We need to stop allowing the battles of our lives to cause us to forget the power of our God.  When the battles are raging, and the wind is blowing, we need to dig in our heels and just stand.  Allow God to fight for you.

Why Won’t You Remove This Thorn, Lord?

I have struggled all night about whether or not to write this post that I am going to share with you.  You see, I never want to tell you something that I am not able to do myself.  But God has put a burning desire in me to share this message with each of you today.  Maybe we can learn something together.  2 Corinthians 12:8-9 says:

“Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me.  And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Let me give you a little background about Paul leading up to this verse.  Scripture tells us that Paul was a great man of God.  His ministry was growing and he performed many miracles through the power of Christ.  But we see that Paul had something that was bothering him.  It bothered Paul so much that he prayed three times for it to be removed.  We are told about this “thorn in the flesh” that was very grievous to Paul.  It is uncertain what the “thorn in the flesh” was, but many scholars believe it could have been acute bodily pain or sickness.  Some even believe it could have been spiritual in nature – such as a temptation or persecution from an indivdual that constantly harassed Paul.  In any case, He was growing very distressed.

After Paul prayed three times for this thorn to be removed, we see that God didn’t remove it.  It is at this point that I ask myself why didn’t God answer Paul’s prayer?  He was a faithful servant full of faith and yet, God didn’t remove the very thing that was distressing him the most.   God’s answer to Paul is that His grace and strength would be sufficient for him to bear through the pain. Paul was drawing closer to God with his “thorn in the flesh.” Could it be that sometimes our prayers are not answered quickly because God is wanting to use our circumstance to draw us closer to Himself?  

I think about a medical diagnosis that I have been praying about for thirteen years to be taken away.  I don’t like the pain and uncertainty that comes along with the disease.  But as I look back, I realized that every time I would have a flare up, I would begin to press into God more by praying and reading the Bible.  The “thorn” was actually bringing me closer to God.  I realized when I was weak and feeling like I couldn’t go on anymore, was when God would demonstrate His power to me the most.  God’s grace flooded over me to allow me to push through my circumstances.  Although unpleasant, I begin to see that my “thorns” act as an aid rather than a handicap.  Paul realized this point long before me and it may be why he wrote 2 Corinthians 12:10:

“Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I don’t know if I can say that yet.  I don’t like it when things get hard.  But Paul is saying that he takes pleasure in trials because it is when he sees God’s demonstrated power the most.  So maybe it is safe to say that sometimes God uses certain circumstances in our lives or certain people to buffet us so that we remain humbled and in constant need of Him.  Maybe we need to begin to look at our hardships as blessings from God because they are drawing us closer to Him (or at least they should be).  

I am reminded of a song from Laura Story called Blessing that I want to share with you.  The chorus goes:

What if your blessings come through raindrops, What if your healing comes through tears, What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near.  What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life, Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy.  And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

This song brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it.  The questions are so deep and yet so matter of fact.  I guess my biggest question for you as well as for myself is this:  If God never answers your prayer or never removes the thorn that buffets you, will you still love and serve Him?  Run to God in your pain.  He is and will always be right by your side.  It may just be that the trial you are going through is serving a greater purpose that you may never know the answer to until you get to heaven.

 

Bondages Are Broken

Have you ever felt bound by something in your life?  No matter how hard you have tried, you can’t seem to break free?  I want to share something with you that will help you overcome the obstacles in your life.

According to the Webster’s Dictionary,  bondage is the condition of a slave: servitude.  The condition of being involuntarily subject to a power, force, or influence.  

After reading this defintion, my eyes became opened to what I was allowing the enemy to do with my life.  When you are bound by something, you are held captive by it.  It has taken over your thoughts and your life. I realized that I was allowing fear and worry to control my life.  Every decision I made was made in fear.  I worried about everything.  I did not have any peace because my mind felt like it didn’t even belong to me.  Fearful thoughts overtook every area of my life.

Have you ever felt this way?  You may not be bound to fear and worry but you may be bound to alcohol or drugs, bitterness, jealousy, pornography, or hatred.  You have tried to overcome the bondage on your own, but as soon as you feel like progress is being made, you find yourself pushed down again with no hope of ever overcoming.  You are being held captive by your own thoughts.  Acts 61:1 says:

“He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.”

One day, as I was meditating on this verse, I started imagining a scene that really helped me to understand this verse.  I pictured an old, smelly dungeon.  I saw a person chained by their hands and feet to a dripping, wet, brick wall.  Every time the person moved to gain freedom, they are pulled back again to the brick wall.  Thier wrists and ankles are red and swollen with sores from pulling the chains and trying to break free.  They begin to think, “If only I can have freedom again.  If only things can change for me.”  A victom mentality begins to set in and they don’t think they will ever have freedom.  But then something brings to their remembrance the story of Paul and Silas in Acts 16:25:

“But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them.  Suddenly there was a great earthquake so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone’s chains were loosed.”

The person in our story wonders what would happen if they would begin to praise God instead of feeling sorry for themselves. So as hard as it was, our prisoner began to sing.  As praises were being raised and Amazing Grace being sung, the chains that bound our prisoner began to break and fall to the ground as they walked away giving glory to God.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; we do not realize the power we have in our praise. Battles are won on our knees. Miracles occur during praise.  Bondages are broken when we look to God and begin to praise Him.

You may be thinking; “it’s too hard to praise God.  I don’t feel worthy enough.  He’s not going to listen to me.  Do you know what I have done?  Why would God care to hear my praises?  I don’t feel like it.  Let me tell you, this is when our praise becomes a sacrifice.  You rid yourself of you and focus on the goodness of the One who made you.  God is the only one who is able to break every bondage in your life.  His grace covers all sin.  Praise God and see the things in your life begin to change.

Jesus came to give us liberty and to open the prison doors to those who are bound.  The work has already been done for you.  Realize that you do not have to be bound to fear, worry, sin, sickness or whatever else that  has taken you captive.  God’s grace is enough for you.

Rhonda H. Kelley quotes:

In Christ, there is freedom from bondage.  Believers are no longer slaves; they are free – not through their own merit but through God’s redeeming Grace.”

Don’t keep believing the lies satan may be speaking to you that are keeping you bound.  The chains have been broken.  All you need to do is get up and walk away.

“Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.  Galations 5:1

 

 

I Am More Than What You See

Have you ever felt insignificant and unimportant?  Maybe you feel like nothing you say or do is ever good enough.  I have felt this way many times.  I noticed when I am the most discouraged about myself is when I am listening to what other people are saying about me. Without my knowing, I have allowed people to dictate who I am instead of listening to what God said I am.  I begin to mull over phrases like:  Your not good enough, we don’t like you, you’re too shy and you are holding your husband’s ministry back.

Negative words such as these, as well as my own negative self-talk literally put me in a downward spiral of depression, anxiety, and fear that took years to overcome.  Even at this very moment I struggle with anxiety and feeling accepted by people.  Maybe you have felt the same way at different times in your life.  You begin to see yourself as nothing important.  After all, in your opinion, that’s how everybody else sees you.  Sometimes you may feel like this little speck on the ground that everybody walks all over.

The good news is that God sees us so much differently. He looks down from on high and is so proud of what we are.  Zephaniah 3:17 says:

“He will rejoice over you with singing.”

How beautiful it is to realize that God sings over us.  We are so important to Him and He loves us so very much.

Even people in the Bible had to battle what people said versus what God said.  David, for example, was left out in the pasture when Samuel went to Jesse’s house to anoint the next king.  He was looking for looks, stature, and build.  God told Samuel in 1 Samuel 16:7 not to look at the outward appearance.  The Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

While David was out in the pasture tending his flock, God was appointing him for something else.  While people looked and saw a shepherd boy, God looked down and saw a King.  How’s that for encouragement?  You are not what people say you are.  God see’s you as someone else.  He loves you and has not forgotten you.  You are a child of the Living King chosen by God for a purpose that no man can take away.

Here are a few more Bible examples:

Abraham and Sarah were seen as barren, but God saw a nation.

Gideon was seen as fearful and weak; but God saw a mighty man of valor.

Moses saw himself as a stutterer not fluent in speech; but God saw a deliverer of His people.

Peter thought he had failed by denying Christ; but God saw a man who was bold and fearless.

You are so much more than what you have been led to think about yourself.  Stop allowing people to dictate who you will become and start believing what God says about you.  Believe that you are an overcomer, saved by grace, delivered, healed, the apple of God’s eye, loved by God and chosen by God.  Begin to change your mindset and change your life. For you were made for so much more than this.

Praise God In Your Storm

Did you ever have to walk down a road in life which caused you to question God’s love for you? It seemed like the more praying and fasting you did, the more silent God became.  Questions began to arise like:  God, where are you?  What on earth are you doing?  Don’t you love me? Don’t you care?  Have I done something wrong?  

Years ago I had to walk a road where I questioned a lot of things about God and about myself.  I was having acute abdominal pain right before and during my monthly menses.  At times the pain was so severe that I would break out in a cold sweat and shake uncontrollably.  I would even throw up when the pain became too severe.  I went to the ER where tests were done and I was sent to a gynocologist.  A large mass was found on my right ovary.  It was so heavy that my right ovary was displaced down by the bladder.  I remember the look on the doctor’s face.  Why God gave me a doctor that worried all the time is beyond me, but that’s what I got.  He looked at me and told me that he thought I may have ovarian cancer and he needed to do surgery.  I felt like I had just been hit by a freight truck.  Many horrible thoughts began to fill my head and I just began to cry.  Fear had taken ahold of my heart like a vice-grip.  Even though God never left my side, I couldn’t find Him anywhere because the fear had blinded me from seeing my Father’s face.  I was afraid of the potential diagnosis, and I was afraid of surgery.  I was in a lose-lose situation.  Or so I thought.

My husband and I began to pray like never before.  We had our church interceding and praying. But nothing was changing.  God became silent.  I would ask God where He was, and why He wasn’t answering my prayer.  I didn’t want this mass and I certainly didn’t want surgery.  I wanted God to instantly heal me and deliver me from all of my fears.  (who was I to tell God how to answer my prayer)?  

Suddenly, I had a breakthrough; well, kinda.  God gave me a scripture!  It was Isaiah 43:1-2:

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you.”

I remember thinking; “are you serious God?”  I want healed and delivered!  I don’t want surgery! What if I don’t wake up?”  Needless to say, I knew how God was going to bring about my healing and I didn’t like it one bit. 

I went to bed that night pouting and an old song that my parents used to play when I was a child went through my mind.  This is the first verse:

When your up against a struggle that shatters all your dreams, and your hopes have been cruelly crushed by satan’s manifested schemes;  And you feel the urge within you to submit to earthly fear; don’t let the faith your standing in seem to disappear.  Praise the Lord, He can work through those who praise Him…..

I began to cry as I realized that God wanted my praise even in the midst of my storm.  I woke up the next morning on my face as I worshiped my God.  You see, I learned at this moment that it is my praise and worship that will move the hand of God.  I surrendered my will to Him and praised God in my storm.  I never felt God’s presence like I did when I worshiped Him out of the desperation of my heart.  Worship breaks the chains that keep us bound.  No matter what I was going through, God was God, and He would receive my praise.

The day of my surgery came and everything went well.  The final diagnosis was severe endometriosis with an endometrioma (blood filled cyst). No cancer!  I have had to have more surgeries after this, but I’m ok.  

My prayer was not answered in  the way I thought it should be, but God did heal me by the hands of physicians.  I realized that God never left my side.  I was the one who left His side by worrying and trying to control the situation myself.  God was and will always be by my side. And He will always be by your side waiting to hear your praise in the storm.

 

 

 

 

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Running Your Race

Running Your Race

“I have fought the fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy 4:7

As a runner goes through extensive training and pain to condition his body to run and finish a race strong, so we as christians must train our own bodies to finish the work God has for us to finish.

Press into all that God has for you. Sometimes the road is not easy, and sometimes the pain is too much to bear, but always have it in yourself to finish strong. Don’t allow your own negative self-talk, or people, or life situations stop you from becoming what God wants you to become. Press into Him by reading the Word, praying, and doing His will so that you too can finish strong!

This picture is of my wonderful son. He has an incredible testimony that I have shared before. If you have never heard it, let me know in the comments and I can share it on my next post.

Aaron is such an inspiration to me. He has taught me to keep going even when life seem impossible and not fair. He has also taught me that God ALWAYS has the last say in EVERYTHING that concerns our lives. And he taught me that Nothing is Impossible with God!

Don’t worry about the obstacles. Give your life over to God and He will help you finish your race.

Never Give Up!

Morning is near!

There are many times in our lives when life just doesn’t seem fair.  Maybe that downsize at work included you and now you’re wondering where your next paycheck is going to come from.  Maybe your marriage is failing and nothing you do seems to be good enough.  Maybe you are going through a health trial and worry and fear are cutting you to the core.  Some of you may be worrying about your children.  Others may feel like your ministry is dying and God has given up on you. Whatever you may be going through, God is going to see you through. It may feel like you are in the darkest season of your life, and your prayers are just bouncing off the walls, but I want you to know that God is working in your situation and the blessing is on its way.  Psalm 30:5 says:

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”

As sure as the light of morning comes, so does joy and comfort for one’s soul.  During those times when you feel you just can’t hold on anymore, remember that, “This too shall pass.”  The pain and suffering felt will not last forever.  2 Corinthians 4:17 says:

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.”

I am reminded of a woman in labor when I read this verse. We don’t like the process of giving birth. There is a certain amount of pain and travail involved in bringing forth the life of a baby. But as women, we know that if we can just hold on for a little while, our beautiful baby will be in our arms.  As soon as the baby arrives, the tears of pain turn into tears of joy, and the feelings of “I can’t take this anymore!” turn into “Wow, look at my beautiful baby!” The joy of our blessing overrides the pain and travail of the labor.

The same thing holds true for our troubles. Blessings are being birthed through our pain.  Every tear, every cry, every fear is giving birth to some kind of blessing.  There may be a season of travail and weeping, but your blessing is in the process of being birthed.  It may not come in the way or fashion that you think it should come, but it is coming.  Hold on in your midnight hour because morning is breaking forth!

 

   

 

God Really Does Care

I have lived so much of my life worried about one thing or another.  During a really hard time in my life when worry seemed to be my unwanted companion, God showed me a scripture that really spoke volumes into my life.

“The beloved of the Lord shall dwell in safety by Him, who shelters him all day long; and he shall dwell between His shoulders.”  Deuteronomy 33:12.

This verse became my life-line.  I began to think about how parents usually comfort their own children.  When our children are hurting or afraid, what do we usually do?  We pick them up, put them on our lap, hold their head close to us and love and comfort them.  

This is exactly what our Heavenly Father wants to do with us.  The times in our lives when we are hurting, worried, or afraid, God wants to pick us up, hold our heads close to his chest, and tell us that everything is going to be ok.  He wants to lift our tear-stained face up to Him and wipe every tear from our eyes.  Psalm 56:8 says that God puts our tears into a bottle.  What an incredible display of affection.  Our heavenly Father cares about us so much that not a single tear has gone unnoticed.

My friends, when we are in our Heavenly Father’s arms, nothing can harm us.  We are safe and secure.  Psalm 91:1 says:

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High, shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.”

So many times we go through difficult times and we feel like God has left us.  We wonder where He is.  It is in these dark times when God is carrying us in His arms.  Instead of running away from God when trials come, we need to run towards God and allow Him to hold us.  

Run to Him when you are afraid.

Run to Him when you are worried.

Run to Him when the deep, dark pit of depression has overwhelmed your entire being.

Run to Him when all hope is gone.

It is in His arms where you will find strenght and rest for your weary souls

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Never Lose Hope

Have you ever been in a place where it just seemed like your prayers were not being answered?  I know I have.  We seem to pray  one request for months or  years and breakthrough is not in site.  It just doesn’t seem like God is listening.  Discouragement begins to show its ugly face and we begin to doubt God’s goodness.  We even begin to think that God does not care about us anymore.  If He did care, something would be changing.  I am here to tell you that God does care. He cares more than you could ever imagine!

I am reminded of a boat ride my family took when we were pastoring in Crisfield, Maryland.  I don’t think I have ever been more frightened or more sick in all my life!  We had to travel to a funeral on Smith Island which is a thirty minute boat ride.  Needless to say, I was waiting for God to calm the storm.  The boat was rocking back and forth, and the waves were crashing over our heads.  Terror seized my inner being.  But I noticed that  the other passangers on the boat did not seem to be frightened.  When my husband asked them why they were not afraid, they answered with a very profound statement:  The captain is in control. He is still laughing and talking so we know we are safe.

Hmmmm…the captain is in control of the vessel.  Do you see where I am going with this?  God is the Captain of our vessel and I can assure you that He is not worried one bit about what we are going through.  We need to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus so fear and worry, and lost hope does not seep into our vessel.  Look to the ultimate Captain and let His peace fill your heart.

Psalm 34:4 states this:

I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

This is very reassuring.  When we call out to God, He hears us and delivers us from all our troubles.  Sometimes the answers may not come in a way we expected them to come, but our prayers are always answered.

Psalm 34:19 says:

“A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.”

I will end by sharing something I had written in my prayer journal.  I wrote:

Put your hope in God’s goodness and EXPECT Him to move in your situation.  Be brave and of good courage; let your heart be stout and enduring.  Wait for, hope for, and expect the Lord to work in the land of the living!!!

If you need someone to talk to or someone to pray with you, please send me an e-mail.  I want to be here for you and help you through your pain.